And some people define abstinence as not having any kind of sex play with a partner. This is the definition we use on these pages. Being continuously abstinent is the only way to be absolutely sure that you won't have an unintended pregnancy or get a sexually transmitted infection STI. Used continuously, abstinence is percent effective in preventing pregnancy. It also prevents STIs. Women and men abstain from sex play for many reasons — even after they've been sexually active.
A couple may even choose to be abstinent after having had sex play with each other. The reasons people choose to be abstinent may change throughout life. Any woman or man can abstain from sex play.
Many do so at various times in their lives. Some choose to abstain from sex play for a great part of their lives. Talking with your partner about your decision to abstain from sex play is important — whether or not you've had sex play before.
Partners need to be honest with each other and make sexual decisions together. These are some of the best ways to keep a relationship happy. Even so, it may not be easy to do. You may feel awkward or embarrassed. Keep in mind that having sex is not the only way two people can get to know each other. Sex play is also not the only way couples can be close. People get closer as they build trust by:. Abstinence can only work when both partners agree to it. So it is also helpful to keep talking with each other about why you've agreed to abstain from sex play.
Your relationship may change. And your decision to be abstinent may change, too. Staying abstinent is a choice you make every day. There are ways to help yourself with that choice. Abstinence can be difficult for some people. Women and men need to be clear about their reasons to stay abstinent. A person doesn't have to be a virgin to practice abstinence. Sometimes, someone who has been having sex decides to stop doing so.
A person who has been having sex can still choose abstinence to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases STDs in the future. Abstinence is the only form of birth control that always prevents pregnancy. Practicing abstinence ensures that a girl will not become pregnant because there is no chance for sperm to fertilize an egg. Many other birth control methods have high rates of success if used properly, but they can fail occasionally.
Abstinence protects people against STDs from vaginal sex. But STDs can also spread through oral-genital sex, anal sex, or even intimate skin-to-skin contact without actual penetration for example, genital warts and herpes can spread this way. Complete abstinence is the only way to guarantee protection against STDs. This means avoiding all types of intimate genital contact. It may mean no sexual contact of any kind or not having certain kinds of sex.
For a variety of reasons, a person may choose abstinence at some point in their life. You can still choose abstinence even if you have had sex in the past. For birth control, abstinence means not allowing sperm ejaculate or pre-ejaculate near the vaginal opening inside the vagina.
For the prevention of sexually transmitted infections STIs , abstinence means no genital-to-genital, or mouth-to-genital contact. If your definition of abstinence means no vaginal intercourse but includes other kinds of sexual activities, it is important to know that there is a small chance of pregnancy from a penis being rubbed near the opening of the vagina with no clothes in between, a partner ejaculating on the vulva, or from unprotected anal sex if the penis slips or semen leaks down to the vaginal opening.
You can visit one of our Options for Sexual Health Clinics to speak with a health care provider. This fact sheet contains general information and should not be used in place of individual consultation with a qualified healthcare provider.
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